G: 11 P: 9

There are many people I know that have fertility problems. Good couples that want nothing more than to be able to have a baby of their own, some are waiting for a long time on somebody else to give up their baby for adoption so that they can raise that baby in a happy, stable home.

When I was in the mother/baby unit one of my patients was a 34 yrs old female that was gravida 11 and para 9. She was addicted to cocaine, bipolar and schizophrenic. I was told that CPS was involved and the patient didn't have custody of any of her previous children. And she wasn't going to have custody of this sweet baby either. Her little boy was a sweetheart. He was being treated with antibiotics because mom also had herpes.

After feeding him my nurse told me to take him to mom for a supervised 15 minutes visit. I was in there for barely 5 minutes and while she was holding her baby she was falling asleep and baby was almost falling on the floor. She asked to put him in the crib and take him away.

My heart broke for this little innocent baby boy. I wanted to take him home with me. I wanted to give him a life full of love and happiness. I wanted him to know that someone cared enough for him to hold him and cuddle him. I wanted him to feel wanted. I was so angry at this mom. I understand she has a long psych history, but I was still angry. While so many people I know want to be blessed with just one baby. She had been blessed with nine! Nine living children. And she had taken them all for granted that she didn't even have custody of them. They're in state's custody. Many women don't understand the blessing that fertility is. Many of them take it for granted, those are the ones that can have them by the numbers. Why is it that those that want nothing more than to be a mother can't and those that are shouldn't be?

I hope this baby boy goes to a family that wants him and that he is raised in a loving home. All I could do was love him while I was there. I fed him, and changed him, and held him as much as I could. I hope he felt wanted and cared for while I took care of him. Babies are a blessing and we should treat them as such.